I think I speak for everyone when I say the panpipe is an instrument of grace and beauty. Everytime I walk through the Atlantic Avenue train station and here that small Peruvian man playing that song (I always think is some Vampire Weekend song, until he hits that one note), I get chills. And don’t even get me started on the fellows who play “My Heart Will Go On” in the Union Square station. Does love have a sound?
Since we are all in agreement that the panpipe (specifically the Andean Siku) is the dopest form of musical expression of all time, I think you’ll be with me on my next big idea: Pan Bopz. It’s like Kid Bopz (the adorable CD compilations of children singing pop songs such as “My Humps” and “Love in this Club”) only instead of stage children singing oddly censored versions of all the songs, everything will be panpipe remixed.
Here are some songs I might suggest for the first volume of Pan Bopz:
1. “We Are Who We Are” -Ke$ha
2. “The Seed (2.0)” -The Roots
3. “Never Say Never” -Justin Bieber
4. “Buy You a Drank” -T. Pain (yes, the panpipe will be autotuned)
5. “No Hands” -Wacka Flacka
6. “Cosmic Love” -Florence + the Machine
7. “Pon de Floor” -Major Lazer (you’re gonna think it’s “Girls” by Beyonce, but it’s not…it came first)
8. “What What” -Samwell (if you don’t know…)
9. “Pretty Wings” -Maxwell
10. “Tigthen Up” -The Black Keys
11. “No More” -3LW
12. “Maps” -Yeah Yeah Yeahs
13. “Ice Box” -Omarion
14. “Whip My Hair (Back and Forth)” -Willow Smith
Hidden Track: “Buy You a Drank” -T-Pain (acoustic version)
Once people see the range of the Siku (how it can go from T-Pain to Florence + the Machine, then back to T-Pain), everyone will want to use it in their music. Seal will feature it exclusively in his next album. Taylor Swift will sing alongside a beautiful sikuist clad in fringe at the Kid’s Choice awards. And Beyonce and Jay-Z will have their un-conceived child trained in Peruvian siku, and she (Jayzonce) will be the most famoust panpipe player in all the universe (next to Damian Draghici of Romania, of course).
So look out for Pan Bopz at your local FYE (there’s one at the mall). It’s going to be huge, and you want to get on this train while there’s still room.