Last weekend I did something that I never do anymore. I went out. Now, I realize this may be a commonplace activity for many of you. But do you know how much I love snacks, and Hulu, and chatting, and reading? I love those things much more than shoe-blisters, and $12 drinks, and guys in deep-Vs, and the Black Eyed Peas. And that is why I normally turn into a pumpkin just before the trains get weird.
But last weekend, my dear friend (and fellow grandma) Emily was in town, and she let me know of plans to “go out dancing,” so I accepted the challenge. I even put on heels (well, wedges, but you know). The night began well. We had a light dinner at S’MAC, an East Village resto that serves mac ‘n’ cheese in so many ways that some aren’t even appealing, which I thought was impossible. They also sell Lactaid tablets at the counter. I ordered the “Garden Lite,” which consisted of mac with broccoli, cauliflower, mushrooms, and a cheddar/swiss combo. Let me tell you, there’s no better way to start a night of “dancing” than with a skillet of vegetables covered in cheeses.
Eventually, after sipping wine for hours at our friend Andrea’s, the group of us (5 deep, all hesitant) made our way to La Caverna. First of all, don’t go to La Caverna. It’s a bar on the Lower East Side that is underground and designed to look like a cave. Really. There are stalactites and such. It’s like a cheap Disney attraction filled with hedge funders. Secondly, maybe go to La Caverna. The DJ played a decent mix of old school (late 90s) and new school (pre-2009, when I stopped listening to the radio and knowing music), and about half of the crowd seemed like they were slightly embarrassed to be there and might too prefer finishing that novella over a cup of chamomile tea. You might even see friends from college who are like “oh, we don’t normally come here,” and you’re like, “me neither it’s my first time,” and they’re like, “yeah, we’ve only been here twice…well, three times including this time.” And you guys might go back and forth like that for a while, until you say you have to find your friends, and that you’ll probably only stay for like 30 minutes.
Emily and I, did in fact, both say we wouldn’t stay long. We both tire easy. So, we started bobbing. Feeling the groove (?) as the kids say. I thought, maybe I’m the oldest person here, but then they played “Drop It Like It’s Hot” by Snoop and Pharrell, and I thought, definitely not old! I know many of the words to this new song! I could tell that some of the college seniors around me were unfamiliar with the song, and I cried tiny chardonnay tears. After swinging our arms aimlessly to what we deduced was a Miley Cyrus song (the young Indian-American fellow behind me knew all the words and sang them emphatically), Emily and I went to the restroom. The line was two hours long. We decided, let’s do this like six more times tonight, so we did. But we were together, and that’s all that mattered.
Eventually, “Lose Yourself” by Eminem came on, and (fun fact!) this seems to be the song that I know the most words to out of all of the songs that ever were. Perhaps inspired by the gusto of the Miley aficionado, perhaps by some subconscious love for Marshall Mathers, I began to rap the lyrics as though I were Rabbit and this was Salem’s Lot. But, as we all know, this was La Caverna. Cave, bros, and so on. I wouldn’t take back my performance, but I’ll be honest, it was a bit much.
By this time, the first of 5 decided to leave. I figured it was just as good a time as any to say my goodbye. Also, it was 3am, and I hadn’t been awake at that time of night/morning for anything other than to use the bathroom in about a year. So, the two of us walked together, but alas, she was heading to Queens. So, I found my way to the downtown 6 station where I was immediately told by the digital sign that the next train wouldn’t arrive for another 20 minutes. Then I’d have to wait for the 4 or 5. So I sighed, walked out of the station, and hailed a cab. I never take cabs. I knew it would cost me $1,000, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of waiting with a bunch of people who did things like this all the time, and also crazy people, and not getting home until the crack of dawn.
When I got home, I had a snack of bread and brie, and lay me down to sleep.
All in all, it was a good time, but I don’t think I’ll be staying out late too often. I just have a lot to the next day, and I really can’t be wearing heels all the time.